Life As We Know It
by lulabelle98
Summary: When life deals you a bad hand, how will you deal with it? Bella chooses her way out, but a certain vampire doesn't agree with it. AU, drabble.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hello there! Welcome to my new drabble!**

**Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and sweetlovincullen for pre-reading.**

**All chapters will be EPOV unless otherwise stated. I'll update once a day. Let's see how long it takes for me to break that schedule...**

I'm cursed.

I may have speed, strength and looks on my side, but they won't help me now. Not even my mind can.

Humans shy away from my kind, sensing that there's a danger there. They're right. I am dangerous.

But as I watch her sitting on the other side of the room, I want nothing more than to prove to someone that I can be... normal.

No, not someone. Her.

I don't even know her name.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and sweetlovincullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

**This fic has 2 banners! You can find them on my profile page, or on my tumblr (I'm lulabelle98 there too). A huge thank you to their creators.**

It's taken me decades to desensitise myself to the scent of humans. There was a time when they were my source of sustenance, but not anymore. Each time I prayed on them, I could see myself through their mind.

Those images will stay with me for the rest of my existence.

Now, I consider myself a vegetarian, surviving on the blood of animals. The blood might keep me going, but sometimes I just need... more.

Like right now, the only thing keeping me going is her scent. Even from across the library it's strong. I've never smelt anything like it. She's so... _potent_.

When I first came across it, I wanted nothing more than to hunt it down and feed from its source.

But then I saw her and I knew I couldn't.

It took all of the strength I had to flee in the opposite direction.

And it's taken months for me to even be in the same room as her. But now that I can manage it, I find it difficult to be anywhere else without her.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and sweetlovincullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

**Congratulations to cilie, who gave birth to a little girl this morning.**

I lose all track of time when she's around.

She stays at the same table, working on an assignment I think, until the library closes. I watch as she packs up her messenger bag and I mimic her, getting myself ready to leave. The books I take with me are props; I don't need them. I'm not a student here.

I let her leave first and follow her scent, telling myself that I just want to make sure she gets home safely. I use the same excuse every time. Her neighbourhood isn't safe. I want nothing more than for her to move out of it, but there's nothing I can do. Instead, I think of myself as her bodyguard. I look out for her when no one else does.

I'm pretty sure she doesn't have anyone else. She's alone, like me.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

She makes it back in one piece. I've noticed that she can be quite clumsy, but not today.

I hide in the shadows, listening to her heartbeat. It's a good indicator that she's alright.

Her usual routine consists of classes, the library, dinner, TV or reading, and then bed. But tonight, I can't hear any sounds of food being prepared, neither can I hear the blaring of her TV.

I wonder what she's doing. There's hardly any noise coming from her apartment.

After about ten minutes of near silence, I finally hear her foot steps. I breathe out an unnecessary breath. She had me worried. I usually try to respect her privacy as much as possible by staying in the alleyway beside her building. I can't risk being seen anyway. It's only when I know that nearby people are asleep, her included, that I take a chance and scale her building, just to peek at her sleeping body. Then I immediately feel like a pervert and back away. It doesn't stop me from doing it again the next night though.

Her footsteps come to a stop and I hear the swinging of a hinge followed by a rattling noise. I listen as she breathes out deeply.

"You can do this," she says quietly, whispering to herself.

Do what?


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing. ****Thanks to December_LeNoir for the extra information.**

****An extra update today because life is just too damn short. ****

The noises I'm hearing... I don't like them. I find myself getting closer and closer to her bedroom window until I am directly underneath it.

Over and over again, I hear the same noises. I can't make sense of it. It's so out of character for her.

Checking first to make sure no one is around, I walk over to the stairwell outside of the building used as an emergency escape route. I'm just checking on her.

It's then that I hear her breathing become shallow followed by the sound of something small and plastic falling to the floor. It has a strange scent to it... almost medicinal.

It takes me less than a millisecond to realise that something is very wrong.

I race up to her window using the stairs and my agility.

And then I see her lying on her back on her bed unconscious.

My eyes focus in on the odd scent coming from the floor and travelling around her blood.

What has she done?


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing. **

"Wake up," I tell her as I shake her body, probably using a little too much strength.

She doesn't though. Her rate of breathing decreases again.

I'm losing her.

_No_.

"You _can't_ do this to me," I say angrily. "I only just found you!"

I feel so useless. There's nothing I can do. She's chosen to end her life.

I can't understand why.

I step back, my foot breaking the offending scent on the floor; a syringe with a needle attached. I look at her bedside table and see a small jar of clear liquid. My eyes are able to make out the small print from here; morphine.

Shit.

Before I realise what I'm doing, instinct takes over. I can't let her go, not now, not ever.

I lean over her body, noticing that this is the first time I've ever been this close to her. Her scent is quickly disappearing, being replaced with that of the morphine.

Before I can talk myself out of it, I place a kiss to the skin of her neck and bite.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

**As this is short, I may post again later :) If not, Happy New Year.**

I truly am a monster. How much blood did I take? She's not moving. She's not screaming.

Maybe the morphine is helping. Or maybe I just took too much.

As soon I as I managed to stop feeding from her, which took a strength I didn't know I had, the first thing I noticed was the slight increase in her heart rate.

And it's only getting faster.

What have I done?

Have I saved her or condemned her?

Surely this is a fate worse than death?


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

**Happy New Year.**

I count down the minutes until I think it's safe enough to move her. No one can see us. No one can know what I've done.

She's so light in my arms. She doesn't make a sound as I lift her. I have to wonder if I've done something wrong, other than force her into this.

Thankfully, her apartment is pretty much on the outskirts of town. Under the cover of the shadows, using my mind and my senses to detect any passer's by, I carry her. When it's safe, I run with her, cradling her closely to my chest. I knew I chose Seattle for a reason; the trees outside of the town provide enough cover for us not to be seen.

I own a small house in the mountains. I'm pretty much shut off from everyone, except my food supply.

And now her.

Somehow, I will make this up to her. And one day, when she's able to and if she wants to, I'll let her go.

That's if she doesn't kill me first for doing this to her.

It's then that I think I may need reinforcements.

Can I do this alone?


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

I don't own a bed. I settle for having to lie her down on the sofa instead.

She looks... peaceful.

I crouch down by her side and smooth out her hair so it doesn't look so windswept.

"I'm sorry," I tell her. "I'm sorry."

Now what do I do? I can't leave her here. It's not as if I need to feed now anyway.

The memory of drinking her blood comes back to me. There are no words to describe how fantastic it tasted. It pains me to think I will never experience it again. Just thinking about it brings back the smell of it. My mouth begins to fill with venom. I have no use for it now.

I look over the girl's body as I try to calm myself. As my eyes gaze over her neck and the wound I inflicted on her, I notice a smear of her blood that I apparently left behind. I 'm not sure how long I stare at the offending mark for, but something inside of me snaps.

I can't take it.

I must have it.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

I lean forward slowly.

I need to savour this. This is my last chance to taste it; to taste her.

I breathe her in, starting at her wrist and trailing my nose along the inside skin of her arm. When I reach her sleeve lying against her bicep, I have to stop myself from ripping it off her body.

The blood is in my sight. I inch towards it. It's dry now, but I bet it still tastes good. I lick my lips in anticipation.

It's mine.

A growl erupts from my chest. I'm not sure why. There's no threat here.

I reach the smear just below my bite mark and lick.

So _good_.

I can taste her delicious scent, but it's marred by the morphine.

_Shit_! The morphine!

How could I be so stupid?


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

**Thanks to TweetAFic for making this TwiFicCentral's Fic of the Day!**

I surprise myself by managing to leave the girl for long enough to return to her apartment.

I'm relieved that there's no one around.

I use the same method as earlier and enter her apartment through her bedroom window. I need to be quick. I can't leave her for long. I grab her messenger bag from where she left it by her desk.

Now, is there anything she would want? Do I make it look like she ran away?

Yes, I think I should. How else do you explain her disappearance?

I find another bag at the bottom of her wardrobe and stuff it with clothes and shoes. I go through her underwear drawer and pick some out for her. I try not to dwell on what I'm doing.

So that's her clothes done. I check the contents of her messenger bag and see that her phone and iPod are in there already. I'm pretty sure she'll want her iPod at least. I may have to hide her phone for now.

I pick up any trace of the morphine; the broken syringe, the empty bottles. I take them with me too.

I scan her room one last time and notice a picture frame on her desk. She's in it with an older woman; a frail woman. She looks ill but happy.

I take it with me too. It might be important.

I think I'm done.

Time to get back to the girl.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

When I make it back to her side, I notice she still hasn't moved. I'd really believe she was dead if it wasn't for the racing of her heart.

Why hasn't she moved? Why isn't she screaming?

I can't smell the morphine in her system anymore. She must be able to feel the pain caused by my venom. Just thinking about it brings back bad memories of my own change. It was excruciating, as if I was burning from the inside out.

Not being able to read her mind is torture. I could at least get a sense of how she was doing.

I put her belongings down by the door and walk over to her side, crouching down like I did earlier. Maybe if I really concentrated, I'd hear something.

But after an hour or so of staying in the same position, focusing as hard as possible, there's still nothing.

I don't like it.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

**Sorry guys. I've already failed with replying to reviews! I figured you'd prefer to have a chapter instead. I read all reviews. Thank you for leaving them.**

A day goes by. I stay by her side in the hopes that something happens. But nothing does.

It's driving me crazy.

Can vampires go mad?

I need to do something, but I refuse to leave her side again. Every so often, my eyes are drawn to her belongings by the door. I'm so very tempted to go through them, to get a better sense of who this girl is. Every time I think about moving, the guilt eats away at me. I've already ruined her afterlife, I can't go snooping through her things too.

I don't want to invade her privacy, but I can't wait for her to wake up. I'm not patient enough.

So after the one hundredth time of looking, I stand from her side and walk over to the door where her things are.

Should I just leave them here? Or should I arrange them around the house?

Maybe I should let her decide. I've taken away all of her other options. I can give her this one at least.

I pick up her messenger bag and rummage through it. I see her purse and quickly take it out, putting the bag back on the floor. I unzip the purse and see a few dimes and nickles, her library card, a student card, a bank card and a driver's license.

Perfect.

"Isabella Swan," I say out loud, taking the driver's license out, liking the way the words form on my lips.

I turn back to face her body.

Hello, Isabella.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

Day two and still no change. Well... her hair has changed it's colour slightly. It looks healthier too. I want to run my fingers through it but stop myself. She might not want me to touch her. I sit and wait instead.

Approximately thirty seven minutes later, I hear voices... someone's mind. No, there are two of them.

What are they doing all the way out here?

_Hello, Edward!_ the female's mind practically shouts at me.

She knows my name? And she knows about my ability?

How?

_Don't be alarmed_, a second voice, a male one, thinks.

_We're family_, the female adds.

Family? I don't have family. There was Carlisle, but I left him.

_Carlisle knows we're here,_ the males thinks, as if sensing my confusion.

_Think of us as your adopted siblings_, the female adds in a sing song voice.

I have a brother and sister?


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

I walk outside my house and wait for them. They aren't coming in, not with Isabella on the sofa.

"Don't be silly, Edward," the female says from a distance. They're close. "She's why we're here."

Immediately, I growl out a roar.

She's _mine_.

"Whoa, calm down, please," the male says.

I crouch down in a defensive position, just in case I need to protect her.

I see them running towards me soon after.

They're not what I expected.

The pair come to a stop in front of me. The woman smiles brightly and leans down a little, though not far as she's already quite tiny, pulling me up into a standing position so she can hug me.

What the hell?

"Alice, sweetheart. Maybe we should explain who we are?" the man says.

The woman, Alice I presume, lets go of me and takes a step back.

_Sorry_, she thinks. _I just get carried away sometimes_.

"That's... okay," I reply. "How do you know about what I can do?" I ask, tapping a finger against my temple.

"Carlisle, of course," she replies. I eye the pair warily. "This is Jasper," Alice adds, placing her hand on his arm.

_Pleasure to meet you_, he thinks.

"I wish I could say the same," I reply.

"I apologise," Jasper says. "I know we've ambushed you."

"Yeah, a little warning would have been nice."

"Hey, big brother," Alice says to me. "Play nice."

This is too much.

"Are you going to let us in?" she adds. "I want to see my new best friend."


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

_Well, this is cosy_, Alice thinks.

"I didn't think I'd be having guests," I reply with an edge of sarcasm.

"Hey, can we stick to talking out loud? It's getting a little frustrating hearing one side of the conversation," Jasper says.

"Carlisle sent you?" I ask, ignoring Jasper's request.

"Kinda," Alice replies as she looks down at Isabella. _She's getting there_, she thinks. _Not long now_.

An image flashes in her mind; Isabella with red eyes, struggling to break out of my grasp, running for the door.

"Can you not put that image in my head?" I ask. I don't want to see her running away from me.

"Sorry," she replies, turning her attention to me. "Can't control it, just like you can't stop reading my mind."

"Can't control what exactly?" I ask.

"Alice has premonitions," Jasper says, stepping forward and coming in between Alice and I. "She sees the future. Once a decision has been made, she sees the outcome."

I knew there were others out there with extra abilities. I just didn't know what those abilities could possibly be.

"And while we're sharing," he continues, "I can sense and manipulate emotions."

"Huh," is all I manage to say.

_Shocked?_ he thinks.

"Uh, just a little."

"Now who's having a one-sided conversation?" Alice says, stepping around Jasper.

"What led to Isabella running away from me?"

_Are you that dense?_ she thinks, though there's a hint of affection there I believe. _You changed her without her permission. Of course she's going to want to run away. She'll wake up in a room full of strangers, not having a clue what happened and why, and probably wondering why the hell she didn't die like she wanted._

Don't remind me.

I run my hand through my hair in frustration.

Alice was right. This is too cosy for me.


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

"Is Carlisle coming?" I ask.

_Do you want him here?_ Alice thinks before answering, "He'll be here in a few days. He had to tie up some loose ends with work and the house."

"He's moving here?" I ask incredulously.

_Of course. He won't let you go through raising a newborn alone. We're here to help until he arrives_, she thinks.

Damn it. All I wanted was Isabella, not a whole family I didn't even know I had. How will he be able to help anyway? He didn't exactly do such a stellar job with me.

"It's not just Carlisle," Jasper pipes up.

"He changed more people?" I ask, following his train of thought. And I thought I was the one without any self-control.

"Just one after you," Alice says. "Esme. She was dying... oh, hey. I guess it's kinda like this situation." She gestures between Isabella and I. "It's not just Esme though. There's Emmett too."

Jeez. I hope they aren't all planning on staying here.

I ask who Emmett is and Jasper replies, "Aw, don't worry about him. You'll get on just fine. He's hard not to like."

Alice adds, "He was changed but whoever changed him didn't stick around. Carlisle came across him before the Volturi did."

"Why would the Volturi bother with him?" I ask.

"He's strong," Jasper says. "I can't imagine how strong he must have been when he was a newborn. If he was left to his own devices..."

Alice tells me that herself and Jasper were changed by others. It was Alice who had a premonition and found Jasper first, followed by Carlisle, some decades later.

Something tells me my life is about to get a whole lot more hectic.


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

Alice and Jasper head out, saying they need to feed before Isabella wakes. Though they also wanted to leave me alone and give me some time to adjust.

I'm never going to have any privacy again, am I?

My house isn't even that big. There are two rooms upstairs which could be used as bedrooms, though there aren't any beds and there's a piano in one of them. A bathroom sits between the two rooms.

And down here, there's just this room and a kitchen type area. It has all the equipment of a kitchen, but has never been used.

I had to keep up appearances, just in case I did ever have any guests of the human variety.

I perch myself on the edge of the coffee table, allowing me to gaze upon Isabella.

Beautiful.

The muscles in her arms are a little bigger. I can only imagine that they are too underneath her baggy jeans. Her skin is paler, her hair is thicker... her heart is beating impossibly fast. Her lips are fuller.

I'd love to taste them.

But I don't. No, our first kiss will be when she's conscious and because she wants to.

I just hope that happens soon.


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

I don't feel thirsty, but my newly-appointed sister forces me out the door.

_Oh, and don't go east_, she thinks.

"Why?" I ask, knowing she can still hear me.

_Just trust me, okay?_

Odd.

I sprint north instead, remembering how I found a good source of elk when I was last there. It doesn't take long to catch their scent which I'm thankful for. I don't want to miss much of Isabella's transformation.

I easily take down an elk. It doesn't see me coming. I drink my fill and leave the body for the next predator that will come along soon enough.

On my way back to my house, my curiosity gets the better of me, and I run towards the area of woods I was told to avoid. I just want to know why.

It doesn't take me long to realise that I should have listened to Alice. Her's and Jasper's scent is everywhere. There are several broken trees. It almost looks as if a tornado has been through here.

What did they do?

And then I notice another scent. It still belongs to them, but it's slightly different; more potent.

Sex.

"Urgh!" I exclaim in disgust.

My siblings are together? _Together_, together?

I head home reluctantly, embarrassed about what I've just come across.

_I told you so_, Alice thinks as I make it to my front door.

I think next time I'll listen.


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

"It's time!" Alice calls out.

I race down the stairs, freshly showered, wanting to look my best for Isabella. I knew I was cutting it fine, but this is quick. The transformation from human to vampire usually takes three days, not two and a half.

I reach Isabella's side, Jasper and Alice standing on the edge of the room, in time to hear her heart beat increase in pace yet again.

Until...

_Stand back, Edward_, Alice thinks.

I reluctantly take a step backwards just in time for the last beat of her heart.

Nothing. She's still not moving. Her eyes don't open.

"Isabella?" I ask quietly.

That does it.


	21. Chapter 21

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

I see it play out in Alice's mind before it actually happens, so when Isabella practically jumps up from the sofa, I stand ready.

Her red eyes dart to the door, prompting Alice to stand in front of it. It doesn't put Isabella off though. She moves to run to it. Following Alice's vision, I wrap my arms around Isabella before she's able to take a step.

She struggles in my arms, almost breaking free from my grip. Damn, she's strong.

"I'm sorry," I tell her, the guilt of the situation hitting me full force. I did this to her. She didn't want this.

Isabella snarls at me in response. I deserve it; I deserve more than that. But the noise shocks her it seems. She stops moving and raises a hand to her mouth, covering it up.

_Edward, I think you can let go now_, Jasper thinks to me as he takes in the range of Isabella's emotions. _She's confused but doesn't appear to be a threat... I can't even feel a sense of thirst from her. Just... despair._

I drop my hands but stay where I am, feeling even more useless when I realise that I still can't hear her thoughts.

"Isabella, sweetie," Alice says, stepping forward. She introduces herself and adds, "How are you feeling?"

Isabella drops her hand and says, "I don't understand... Am I... dead?"

Technically, yes.


	22. Chapter 22

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

**Did I forget to update yesterday? Oops.**

"I think you already know the answer to that," Alice continues.

"Then... what?" Isabella questions. "I don't understand. I... I was meant to-"

"Hey," Alice says softly. "It's okay... I know this is a lot. You need time to adjust-"

"What did you do to me?" Isabella asks angrily, looking between Jasper and Alice.

"Not them," I interrupt. Isabella turns around quickly to face me, as if she forgot I was here. "Me." The word dies in my throat.

_Edward, Jasper and I will give you two some privacy. We won't be far_, Alice thinks.

I don't move, realising I'm too afraid to. My siblings slip out through the front door quietly and quickly. Oddly, the noise doesn't distract Isabella. Instead, we continue to stare at one another.

She's so beautiful. I realise now that it wasn't just her blood drawing me to her. As much as I'll miss that scent, it still lingers on her skin. It's still a part of her. Even in her anger she's still stunning.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle this situation. As a newborn, she's stronger than I am. I won't be able to keep her here easily if she decides to run.

Then I remember that Alice and Jasper are close by.

"What did you do to me?" she asks again, slowly.

How on earth do I answer that?


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

I say the first thing that comes to mind. "You were dying."

"By choice!" She shoves me and I stumble backwards. "Oh my God," she says, her expressing changing to one of shock instead of anger. "You saw me trying to..."

I nod.

"Why? How?"

"Isabella," I say, trying to calm her down.

"How the _hell_ do you know my name?"

Even my vampire mind can't come up with a decent excuse. It's beginning to dawn on me just how perverted my behaviour has been towards this girl. I knew what I was doing was wrong at the time, but nothing would have stopped me from doing it all the same. I grew up in the early 1900's; that's not how I was raised.

I have always been a gentleman towards women- for the most part- but I've been anything but with this girl.

"I'm sorry," is all I manage to say.

"Are you going to answer a single question of mine?" she asks as she steps towards me. She's actually pretty intimidating for such a small person, or should I say small vampire.

"I will. You just need to promise me something first."

She debates this for a brief second, probably coming to the conclusion that there is no other way of doing this. "Fine." She crosses her arms over her chest defensively. "What?" she asks.

"Promise me you won't freak out."


	24. Chapter 24

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

Her expression remains impassive as I tell her how I found out her name. I even hand her back her ID as I realise I still have it in my pocket.

"So, what? You kidnapped me?" she asks as she throws her ID down onto the coffee table beside us.

"I saved you," I reply, and instantly realise my mistake. She most probably did not wish to be saved.

To my surprise, she doesn't say anything. Instead, her eyes dart to the side, as if she's looking out of the corner of them.

"How is it that I'm able to hear that?" she asks quietly.

"What?"

She shakes her head. "This will sound crazy, but I could swear that it sounds like... the wind blowing... outside."

She's right. It is. Just another noise I try to not pay attention to.

She continues, "And how can I see so clearly? My vision has always been slightly blurred." She looks back at me. "It's like I can see every speck of colour in your eyes... your golden eyes. Gold? How are your eyes gold? And how am I able to think about all of these different things at once? Why do I feel... better?"

So many questions. She never talked this much when she was human. Then again, she was practically always alone.

"You feel better? In what way?" I pick the one question that seems the most pertinent to me now.

"It's like the pain is gone." She taps a finger against the side of her head. "Up here."


	25. Chapter 25

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

She shuts her mouth then, perhaps thinking she has said to much. Then again, I have seen her at her weakest moment.

"Who are you?" she asks quietly, taking a step back. It's only then that I truly notice how close we were to each other. I could have leaned down to kiss her if I wanted to. I fear that wouldn't have gone down well though, however.

"My name is Edward." She steps backwards once again so I quickly add, "I mean you no harm."

As soon as the words are out of my mouth, Isabella's head whips around to face the front door. I hear her breathe in deeply.

Blood.

_She needs to know what she is, Edward_, Alice thinks. _If you won't do it, I will_.

She must have gone to find the nearest animal while we were talking. It smells like a deer to me. I hear Alice and Jasper approach my house as Isabella releases a growl. As soon as the noise is made, she runs for the door, barely stopping in time to open it, before running to join Alice. I quickly follow her, not letting her out of my sight.

Alice drops the deer's body on the floor and Isabella pounces on it. I keep my distance, not wanting to interrupt.

I watch as she sinks her teeth into its neck and she drinks. Her hands grab at the body, pulling it closer to her. Her eyes begin to close.

The sight is almost... erotic. I find myself wishing I was there in place of the deer.

Once the blood runs dry, Isabella immediately drops the carcass and jumps up, covering her mouth with her hands.

"Oh my! What the hell did I do?" she says, mainly to herself I think. "What the hell was that?" she almost shouts as she turns to me. "I just drank-"

"Blood," Alice interrupts. "You drank blood."


	26. Chapter 26

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

Her eyes widen. And then... she laughs.

Maybe I shouldn't have changed her when she was clearly mentally unstable at the time.

I look over to Jasper for some answers. He'll know what she's feeling. His gaze connects with mine as he thinks, _her thirst isn't as strong, though she feels disgusted with herself_.

Why is that funny?

She speaks up then. "I died and went to Hell, didn't I? Am I here because of how I died? That's got to be the only explanation for this."

I don't blame her for thinking she's in Hell. It's an apt comparison.


	27. Chapter 27

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

Images flicker through Alice's mind; the future.

Carlisle and the others will be here tomorrow.

The images of my creator distract me for a moment from the harshness of Isabella's words. I don't blame her for thinking she's in Hell, but it hurts just the same. I wanted her to feel safe with me.

Instead, she glares in my direction. Perhaps she thinks I'm the devil.

"Bella," Alice says as she snaps out of her vision. "Can I call you Bella?"

"No." She spits out the word.

_Guess that was too soon_, Alice thinks. Then she focuses on an image in her mind of her and Isabella laughing at something. They look close.

"Sorry," Alice continues. "This isn't Hell."

"We're just outside of Seattle actually," I butt in. "This is my home... yours too."

"I have a home. I need to go," she replies.

"You can't," I hastily say. "You're... it's not safe."

"For who?" she asks quietly.

"For anyone."

"What am I?" she asks again after a moment as I take a step closer to her.

I don't answer until I stand directly in front of her. "Vampire."

**AN: I tweeted this yesterday so thought I should say it here too. This will be my last fic. We've got a couple of months to go though :) **


	28. Chapter 28

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

She runs away from me, back into the house. The door slams behind her. I listen to her movements on the inside as Alice tells me that Isabella just needs a moment alone.

_She doesn't want to believe it_, Alice thinks.

"Of course she doesn't," I state angrily. "Why on earth would she?"

All of a sudden, my level of frustration seems to disappear. I turn to see Jasper focusing his gaze on me.

Damn empath.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't speak to Alice in that way," he says.

"Maybe you could focus your ability on Isabella instead?" I reply.

"I think Isabella is entitled to feel the way she is right now, don't you?"

His waves of calm come to a stop but I don't seem to be experiencing the same amount of frustration at the situation as before. I apologise to Alice for my harsh words.

"Go to her," she tells me.

So I do.

I slowly open the door and look around the room before stepping inside. She's sitting on the couch with her head in her hands.

"I can smell you," she says. "I can smell those two outside. I can hear them talking. This isn't right. It's not... natural."

"I know it's overwhelming-"

"You don't have a fucking clue!" she shouts as she raises her head, cutting me off. Her hands immediately cover her mouth. "I'm sorry," she says, seeming a lot calmer. "That was rude." She drops her hands.

"I deserved that." Although I don't like the sound of profanity coming out of her mouth. I stay rooted to the spot. Her emotions seem to be all over the place. I don't want to trigger any more negative ones.

"I'm not usually this moody," she says quietly without looking at me.

"That's just the change," I tell her, "From human to- well, it's to be expected." I refrain from saying the word vampire. She probably doesn't want to hear it again.

She nods and breathes out heavily.

"God, it's like I can taste the smells on my tongue," she muses.

I don't say anything. I wait for her to instead.

She continues, "So... this is it for me now?"

Yeah. This is it.

**AN: I'm going to stick to updating Monday-Friday. I'm running out of chapters and haven't had time to write!**


	29. Chapter 29

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

Really, what was I expecting? That she'd wake up and fall desperately in love with me? That kind of thing only happens in fairy tales, and I'm not exactly Prince Charming.

I still think she's taking this pretty well. She hasn't even tried to hurt me. I wonder why that is.

"I've never felt that much pain before," she says as she stares at her hands in her lap.

"It was the venom," I reply. "It was altering you... changing you from human to-"

"Vampire." She finishes my sentence and looks up at me. I nod once to confirm. "What I did to that animal..." She shudders.

"At least it wasn't a human," I say.

She doesn't say anything to my remark. I almost believe she didn't hear me say it until she finally utters, "Why couldn't you just let me die?"


	30. Chapter 30

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. Thanks to babylopez2008 for beta-ing.**

What can I say to that?

That question hurt, the words stabbing me one at a time.

Taking in a shaky breath, I reply, "How could I... How could I not want to save you?"

"You don't know me," she says in retaliation.

"I know... enough."

She shakes her head. I have to make her see.

I continue, "I know you're a student at the university. You like to use the library to study in. Your favourite thing to eat while you study? Reese's Pieces. You prefer your coffee white with one sugar. When you aren't studying, you watch TV or read. You hate food shopping," I add, remembering those times I saw her carrying bags back from the grocery store and hating myself for not being able to help.

"So you know my routine?" she asks. "Wow... I got myself a proper stalker, didn't I?"

"I'm not a st-"

"Then what would you call it?" she says, standing up from the couch and moving to the far side of the room.

"I..." I shrug, not able to find the right words. She's right of course, but 'stalker' is such a terrible name for what I was doing. "I felt very... protective of you," I finally say. It's the only way I can think to describe it.

"But why? Why me?" She stares at me intently.

I hang my head, feeling ashamed for what I'm about to say. "Your blood... it sang to me."


	31. Chapter 31

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. **

She's quiet for the longest time. I look up when I can no longer take the silence. She's leaning against the wall, as if she needs its support. Her eyes are closed. She almost looks as if she could be asleep.

Just when I think I'm about to go crazy, even though from outside Alice is mentally telling me to be patient, Isabella opens her mouth and says, "I'm no longer human. You _infected_ me with some sort of _venom_ when I was at my weakest; when I had chosen to..." She takes in a breath. "I'm stuck here, as your hostage, and all because you wanted my blood." Her eyes fly open. "So what happens now? I'm assuming that now I'm like you, you don't want my blood anymore." Correct. She doesn't exactly have any. "So that leaves me with a couple of options. I'm either here as your slave or as your pet. Which is it?"

"Neither," I reply quickly, noticing that she doesn't particularly sound worried or scared about her fate. "I just wanted you to live."

She shakes her head. "That wasn't your choice to make." I feel unable to speak when she says something like that. I know it's the truth. The guilt will always be with me for taking away the option of death.

She continues when I don't say anything. "What happens now? I can't leave... I'm alive in some form or another. Can I age? Do I have to... drink blood... to survive?" she asks, staring past me towards the front door.

The door opens before I can reply and Alice and Jasper walk in. They stand beside me as Alice says, "In time, you'll be happy here. You'll learn to live this way."

My eyes stay on Isabella. It's easy to see that she doesn't believe Alice's words. I find it hard to as well.


	32. Chapter 32

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. **

I'm an idiot. A fool.

What was I thinking when I turned her? How could I have possibly thought she would be happy with me? I'm nothing special... apart from my demonic nature. But I wouldn't exactly call that 'special'.

How could I have been selfish enough to change Isabella? I'm no better than Carlisle.

That thought disgusts me.

I've been out of my house for most of the night. Isabella couldn't stand to be around me, but she couldn't exactly leave. I left her in the care of my siblings.

I'm not so sure what I would have done without them.

I lie on my back, in a clearing in the trees, staring up at the stars in the sky. Dusk is approaching, marked by the change in colour of the sky above. The stars still shine brightly though.

I've always disliked this; the dawning of a new day. It reminded me that everything around me was changing, yet I continued to stay the same and always would. And then I saw Isabella for the first time, and I detested the fact that I could never be _right _for her.

Sure, I could have attempted some form of relationship with her. But then what would have happened further down the line? Birthdays would come and go. She would age. What would happen if she saw that I wasn't? Not if, _when_.

I couldn't enter her life to only have to leave it again.

I've never been able to form attachments to people or things. Isabella was the first. If it wasn't for the smell of her blood, I would never have seen her for the person she is.

It's taken me ninety years to get to this point.

I have a feeling it'll take ninety more to get Isabella to forgive me.


	33. Chapter 33

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. **

I return to an empty house. I can't hear anyone's thoughts and there are no sounds of unnecessary breathing. There's only one scent in the air. Isabella.

She's... alone?

I pick up my hesitant pace, suddenly alarmed. What could have happened while I was gone? I shouldn't have left, no matter how much Isabella didn't want me around. I should have known better.

I enter the house, the door slamming against the wall as it swings back.

"Alice said I should tell you not to worry," Isabella says from her seat on my couch. "She told me that if I said it when I could first hear or smell you, then you would hear me."

"What's going on?" I ask, remaining by the open doorway.

"But that's just too weird," Isabella says, pretending not to hear me. "It would be like... talking to myself; like I was crazy or something. Alice and Jasper spent a while trying to convince me that I'm not... crazy that is. I'm just... different now." She looks up at me. "But I don't know how to accept that. And I have you to blame for it."

She's right. There's nothing I can do or say to change what's happened.

"If you'll let me, I'll do anything to get you to forgive me," I say with as much emotion as I can muster.

Using her newborn strength and speed, Isabella races out of her seat, coming to a stop before me, and slapping me across the face. Hard.

_Bastard_!

"I know," I reply. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I didn't say anything," she replies quietly, taking a step back.

"But... you called me a-"

I don't need to finish my sentence. I can _hear _her. Her thoughts.

"Isabella, I need you to touch me!" I demand, before realising that I could have perhaps phased that a little better.

**AN: With my RL getting worse, updates will be slower. I will try my best to update daily, but it's not looking likely.**

**Also, I'm taking a step back from twitter, so please don't contact me there as I will be unable to reply.**

**That said, I hope you're still enjoying this fic.**


	34. Chapter 34

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading. **

She looks at me in disgust. There's no way she will voluntarily lay a finger on me. Before she can move away any further, I grab onto her hand.

Her mind forms the words before she speaks them.

_Get the _hell_ off of me!_

"I can hear you," I say. "Your mind," I add when she looks at me with confusion. "I wonder..."

I remove my hand from around hers and touch her upper arm that's covered by her t-shirt.

Nothing.

"Interesting," I say out loud. That's probably why I couldn't hear her when I held her back after her transformation. I wasn't touching her skin directly.

"Are you done?" she asks, shrugging me off of her body.

"Sorry."

"Alice told me that you can read minds, but not mine. You can now? Do I have to start censoring my thoughts? Because believe me, you wouldn't like them."

"It seems I can only hear them when I touch your skin," I reply, choosing to ignore her last comment. "What else did Alice tell you? And where are they?"

Isabella sighs. "They've gone to meet the others at the airport."

It's my turn to sigh. They're here so soon?


	35. Chapter 35

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading.**

**Please READ the AN at the end of the chapter.**

The nerves kick in.

Esme, Emmett and Carlisle... a family I never even wanted, all under one roof. My roof.

And all because of Isabella.

"We need to leave," I announce. Isabella looks at me strangely.

"What are you talking about? You already said I can't go anywhere."

"Are you telling me that you want to stay here with me?" I ask. "If that's what you want, then that's what will happen." The panic almost dissipates at the thought of Isabella choosing to stay with me, even if we will be surrounded by others. At least I can give her a choice in this.

"Don't get any ideas," she replies. "I don't want to be anywhere near you. I don't exactly want to be surrounded by even more people like you though."

I try not to let her words affect me. It's not easy.

**IMPORTANT AN:**

**If you're reading this, thank you.**

**Unfortunetly, I am putting this fic on hiatus, something I never thought I'd do. Writing used to be fun but not so much anymore, due to a number of reasons. I still won't be using twitter, especially after something I read on there earlier.**

**I hope I'll be back at some point, but right now, I can't honestly say I will be.**

**I'm sorry to those who enjoy reading this fic. Really, I am.**


	36. Chapter 36

**AN: Hello there. Remember me? I'm attempting to re-join the fandom! I have this fic to finish, and now that university has ended (or will do very shortly) I thought I'd start writing/updating again. If there isn't a lot of interest, I'll move on to another idea, but I don't generally like to leave things unfinished.**

**So, to re-cap. Edward turned Bella after her suicide attempt. Here, we pick up where we left off.**

**Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading.**

I pack a bag, throwing random belongings into it before running back down the stairs. Isabella hasn't moved.

"I thought you changed your mind?" I ask, my anxiety levels beginning to rise. "You don't want to leave anymore?"

Her reply is immediate. "Yes. I want to leave. More than anything." She walks over to the door and picks up a rucksack of hers that I retrieved from her apartment days ago. From packing it myself, I know it contains some of her clothes.

"We need to go. Now," I add with urgency, slinging my bag onto my back.

I make sure nothing has been forgotten, like my wallet. I don't have a cell phone. I've never needed one before. It's not like I wanted to be called by the only person that really knew of my existence, Carlisle.

Isabella picks up her messenger bag. "Here, let me," I say, taking it from her, my fingers brushing against her hand as I do so.

_Need to run. Escape. Soon._

I drop the bag and pin Isabella against the wall.

"You can't leave me. _Not_ now. _Not_ ever."


	37. Chapter 37

**AN: Thank you to all of you reading this now. I didn't think so many of you would come back to read this. I'm so glad you did. Thank you.**

**Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading.**

She's stronger than I am, however. Within milliseconds, I'm the one pinned to the wall in her place, her hands clasped onto my shoulders painfully.

"You don't get to touch me," she snarls, the animal inside of her slipping out.

As soon as the words leave her mouth, she must realise what she's done. She steps away from me immediately, choosing to stand on the other side of the couch across the room.

"I hate what you've done to me," she says in frustration, sounding as if she is in pain. "I've never once intentionally harmed another person, and yet I've already hit you."

"It's okay," I tell her slowly. I deserve her anger. "It's what happens after the change. Your moods just need to stabilise."

"It is _not _okay... This isn't me." She crosses her arms over her chest and stares at the wall to the left, refusing to look at me.

I'm not sure what to say. I don't think there is anything that I could tell her right now that will make her feel any better. I bet Alice would know what to do.

"Isabella," I begin hesitantly. "You tried to commit sui-"

"I'm aware of that," she snaps.

"Exactly," I continue. "So how happy could you have been with who you were?"

She finally looks at me in shock which morphs into anger.

Yet again, I think I've said the wrong thing.


	38. Chapter 38

**AN: Hello my lovelies! Who else is enjoying the sunshine?**

**Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading.**

She practically growls at me as she says, "Surely that just helps to prove my point."

"What do you mean?" I ask quietly, not fully understanding.

"You don't know me, Edward. You don't know a thing about me."

There's nothing I can say to make this situation any better. We've reached an impasse. I'm well aware that Carlisle and the others are on their way. We're running out of time. However, it's also beginning to dawn on me that I can't do this alone. If I keep saying the wrong thing, I will keep pushing Isabella away. She's stronger than I am. I wouldn't stand much of a chance at protecting her, or myself. Maybe I will need my fake family after all.

"We should unpack," I say, albeit slightly reluctantly. She chooses to ignore me, not moving from her spot beside the couch. I'm not sure what's worse; the silent treatment or her attacking me earlier.

Perhaps I should give her some more time to herself.

I head up the stairs, casting one last look behind me in Isabella's direction.

I wish I hadn't bothered.


	39. Chapter 39

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading.**

Hope is a funny thing and not something I've experienced often during my life. Seeing Isabella for the first time all those months ago seemed to ignite it within me once again. I hadn't realised just how much I was clinging on to the hope of some kind of relationship with her until seeing the reality etched upon her face.

There is no hope for me.

I reach the confines of my room at the top of the stairs and throw my bag filled with my belongings in frustration, leaving an imprint in the wall opposite me before it falls to the floor. I leave it there. I have no use for it or what it contains. Much like myself, it is now unnecessary.

"Shoot," I say, taking in the mess I've made as a photo that was hung on the wall joins my bag on the floor, the glass shattering as it makes impact.

"You could have stopped that," Isabella says, her voice coming from behind me. I turn around to face her and see her leaning against the door frame.

Huh. I didn't even notice her move from downstairs.

"So could you," I reply. Even if she isn't fully aware of just how fast she will be now, her body will be.

She shrugs. "I guess so."

I choose not to say anything and wait for her to continue.

"It looks like I'm not the only one with mood issues around here," she continues, nodding towards the mess on the floor.

"Did you... just make a joke?" I ask, not really believing what I've heard.

She doesn't answer my question but instead chooses to say, "I didn't think I had a way out... I just wanted you to know that," she adds before going back downstairs.

I don't stop her. It takes me a moment to piece together what she could be referring to. But I do. Her suicide attempt.

"There's always a way," I whisper as gently as possible, knowing full well that she will hear it.


	40. Chapter 40

**AN: ****Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless and SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading.**

I hear Alice's thoughts before anyone else's. She's... loud.

_I'm not angry... I'm not angry... Okay, maybe I am a little bit. If you had left..._

An image flashes in her mind of a crazed and blood thirsty Isabella, surrounded by a number of dead and broken bodies. I am nowhere to be seen.

Alice continues, _Sure, we would have found you, but it would have been too late_.

Thankfully her mind goes blank. She must know that I have seen more than I needed to.

And then I hear it. Him. His thoughts, or rather, thought.

_Son_.

Carlisle.

"Stay here," I say to Isabella, leaving her on the couch where we had been sitting in silence.

"Are they here?" she asks.

I nod once as I walk out of the front door.


	41. Chapter 41

**AN: ****Thanks SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading.**

I wait for them in between the trees. Their thoughts tell me they are close by. When there's a breeze, it signals that they are within range. I can smell them.

Leaving Isabella at the house was definitely a good idea. Her new senses may have interpreted the speed at which they're travelling as something to protect herself against. I would not have liked to have dealt with a defensive newborn in this situation.

Then again, perhaps it would delay what is about to happen.

If I had a beating heart, I'm sure it would be about to burst out of my chest.

I try to calm my growing anxiety. As I do so, Carlisle appears before me, but still some way off. Apparently heightened emotion makes me more distractable.

"Edward," he says slowly as his greeting.

I try to pick up on where the others may be. Alice's thoughts tell me that they believed it was best if Carlisle and I had a few moments of privacy to begin with. Now that they are closer, I take notice of a male's thoughts - Emmett I assume - as it becomes louder. His tone is almost child-like. I pick up on another female too. Must be the woman Carlisle changed.

I try not to pay attention to what they are thinking as I stare at my "father" before me.

"How have you been?" he asks, gesturing towards me as he approaches.

I'm not sure how to answer. It's not any of his business and I'm sure Alice has filled him in on everything that she's aware of.

Instead, I shrug.


	42. Chapter 42

**AN: ****Thanks SweetLovinCullen for pre-reading.**

I'm not being arrogant when I say that I'm intelligent. I believe I was before I my change, but having the ability to think faster and about more things at once also helps. So you'd think I'd be able to say something now; something articulate at least.

But instead, my emotions take over. After years of practicing self-control, of trying to be a blank slate, these past few months seem to have changed me.

"I don't want you here," I state when I can't seem to contain my anger.

"Son-" he begins with a hint of sadness in his tone, but I stop him.

"Don't call me that." I almost spit the words.

He nods slowly. "I apologise," he says as he takes another step forward. "I do it out of habit I suppose," he adds, his slight English accent grating on my nerves. "You were always 'my son' when I mentioned you to Esme."

"Ah, yes. Esme. The woman you changed just to cure your loneliness after I left you?" I ask, albeit sarcastically.

"That's not what-"

"Save it. I'm not interested."

With nothing left to say, I head back to the house, leaving Carlisle alone in the woods.


End file.
